Beloved

Voices that seem a million miles removed ransack

My mind like hungry scavengers 

All the while seeming to be but a dream. 

Overwhelm rises but doesn’t quite reach the brink of my eyelids.

No tears can carry the sadness 

Or sharp words the anger swelling through my arms,

Causing an all-familiar ache and feeling of falling. 

Everything within wanting, waiting, writhing 

While my body sits frozen, my eyes fain brightness, my mouth forces a smile. 

The disassociation takes me back 

To days when I needed to convince everyone

–even me–

That I was a good big sister. 

The little girl can see her now, thirty-four and a professional

At the pretense of presence

The pretending people cannot push me too far. 

I wonder how long I can keep this up,

How long I’ll need to convince everyone

–even me–

That I’m a good leader. 

It’s not always like this.

Sometimes I thrive as I lead,

Grounded and growing, laughing and leading a song of joy.

But sometimes I catch my heart deep acting, 

My brain dysregulated by a slurry of lies about my identity. 

“Good leader, good leader, good leader” 

Something deep in my being yells at my heart,

And I succumb to the lies, convincing everyone

–even me–

That they are truth. 

My heart searches for escape but by grace

Finds resurrection. 

A message moored to the Rock of Ages

Whom waves woo me to kiss and hide,

Held and tempered from the storm of my past. 

The Most Resilient Leader looks at my frame

Soaked, cold, stiff, weeping. 

My eyes plead with Him to notice my accomplishments, 

To convinced everyone

–even me–

That I’m a good leader. 

He smiles and by one look at His face

I know He’s not going to say what I want.

My eyes are cast down on the waves again.

Disappointed and despairing of ever returning to joy,

I take a shuttering breath and reconsider quitting. 

Escaping by running from the pressure. 

But God. 

I feel Him lifting my chin, inviting me to look in His face again.

I’m not sure if I want to accept

His invitation to reorient. 

Then the wind catches His words,

Rushing through the storm and into my soul 

Warming and thawing me. 

“Beloved.” He says. “Beloved, beloved, beloved.

You don’t need to convince everyone 

–even Me–

That You are a good leader.

No longer do you simply do the actions to prove “good.” 

Your identity is secure and grounded

In My character and everlasting arms.

Whether you lead or follow, work or rest,

You are mine.

You can be.

You are loved.

Beloved forever.”

Awe Over Calling

Mountains made, molded, and mossed,

And tickled by stream and scurry of squirrels.

Waterfalls dripping o’er rock face embossed

With lichen lush laden in billowing swirls

Of midst and splendor.

Glaciers that crack as slowly they’re sliding

And traveling down the valleys to sea.

They beckon me come and rest, still abiding,

While standing in awe of Your sheer majesty.

Yet You still called me. 

I love all the ways You have called me to share

And am shocked by the clarity of time and place

And yet none of this is as good to compare

To the awe that I want to have of Your grace. 

Without awe, my calling is fading and lost

In ideas and plans, schedules and days.

I begin to see darkly, like windows with frost

But I want to delight, to rejoice, and to praise. 

Help me, like when I am hiking Rainier,

To keep my eyes upward and trained on Your grace.

Give me faith to obey You and ears to hear

More important than doing is viewing Your face

And all of Your splendor. 

You Make My Heart Sing

When my past tries to haunt me
And keep me down low,
When my future looks scary
And I don't even know
What I'm doing in this world,
When I'm tired of the pain,
When my sky is unviewable
Through the deluge of rain,
When the enemy attacks me
With outrageous fears,
When my body is aching
And I've cried all my tears,
When my throat is all scratchy
From calling your name,
When the fire of my joy
Is a mere struggling flame,
When I look at my friends lives
And I'm tempted to covet,
When I slip and forget I'm
In the world not of it,
When I recite the answers
In lifeless intonation,
When others don't listen
Or raise expectations,
When I wonder if I'll
Ever hear Your voice,
Then You send the assurance
And then I rejoice.
For I know You are worthy
And control all things,
When in the darkest times
You make my heart sing.

"He taught me how to sing the latest God-song, a praise-song to our God. More and more people are seeing this: they enter the mystery, abandoning themselves to God." (Psalm 40:3, The Message)

The Verbs of Restoration

Lying on my face

Tears falling fast,

Pleading for grace

For things in the past,

Knowing my sin

Has hurt Your heart,

Wishing deep within

I had not taken part,

Spilling out words

Of confession and sorrow,

Praying I'm heard

And that on the morrow

Beginning anew

I might follow Your plan.

Kneeling before You,

I stretch forth my hands.

Opening my palms

And yielding all in them,

Feeling the calm

Of the heart that has no sin,

Hearing You call

"Come know and be known,"

Being unafraid to fall

In Your arms as Your own,

Feeling the laughter

And joy that You give,

Rising up after 

Freedom's mine to live.

Sensing Your presence,

Seeking You with all my might,

Worshipping Your essence,

Laughing in delight!

Myrrh

for Ariel and Rosie G., who first coined my nickname

Myrrh--
Bitter to the taste.
Hard brown stems
On small, scrubby bushes.
Not fit to give the King of Kings.

My heart--
Bitter with the flavor of sin.
Hard, cold, heavy.
Hypocrisy at its finest.
Not fit to give the King of Kings.

Myrrh--
Fragrant and Beautiful
When cut, broken, or crushed.
Perfect to be
That gift brought to Jesus.

My heart--
Fragrant and Beautiful
When cut, broken, or crushed
By conviction;
I brought it to Jesus.

He turned the bitterness
Into Joy
As I chose to forgive those who hurt me.
Songs flowed out as my heart
Shed Grace's fragrance.
Healing.
Peace.

He is Yet Alive!

He is Yet Alive!

May 11, 2008

Within a shadowed corner myst’ry lay

As ruffled folds of fabric laid therein.

What happened on the morning of that day?

Where was the body of the dead within?

I sighed and stared into the darkened room.

Who could’ve done this evil to my friend?

Why had they thus removed Him from His tomb?

Why had they killed Him? He had done no sin.

I thought back of Him and His love for me,

His perfect heart, His grace beyond compare,

His death upon the cross of Calvary,

And now this myst’ry – Jesus wasn’t here.

Behind me then a gentle voice did chide:

“Why fear ye? Joy! for I am yet alive!”

Focus on Me

Focus on me, child
Don’t worry, run around
For true joy, is from knowing
That all in me is found.

Copyright Miriam Rainwater, April 2, 2008
All rights reserved.

A New Song

For Mrs. Paula...

Thou hast put a new song in my heart
Even praise unto Thy name.
Thou hast taken all my sin away
Removing my guilt and shame.

Chorus:
Thou hast put a new song
In my mouth and heart.
It shall witness of Thee
Tell others I’m Set Apart.

Thou hast put a new song in my heart
Thou hast heard my ev’ry cry.
Thou hast brought me from the miry clay
Thou art ever near, so nigh.

Thou hast put a new song in my heart
Even praises unto Thee.
I will sing of all that Thou hast done
Now and thru eternity!



Based on Psalm 40:3
Copyright Miriam Rainwater, March 12, 2008
All rights reserved.
Opt. Tune: There’s Within My Heart a Melody

Rejoice, Ye People

Rejoice, ye people in the Lord
And be exceeding glad.
Strong in the Lord and by His grace
With robes of salvation clad.

Rejoice ye people in His works
How marvelous and grand.
He spoke the word and it was done
From dew drop to heav’nly span.

Rejoice ye people when your hart
Is tempted to do wrong.
He giveth grace in temptation
In darkness He gives a song.

Rejoice ye people when the way
Leads through a thorny path.
Through mountains, valleys, stormy gale,
Still on thy Truth stand fast.

Rejoice ye people in all things
Give thanks forevermore.
In faith rejoice and thus so be
Exceeding glad in Thy Lord.



Based on Matthew 5:12
Copyright Miriam Rainwater, March 3, 2008
All rights reserved.
Opt. Tune: O God, Our Help is Ages Past

Happy Day, Joyous Way!

As I walk in His way
All my heart rejoices
I sing praise to His name
Joining heav’nly voices.
I am His, He is mine,
Wondrous love is this!
Since my heart has been redeemed
He my substitute is.
Chorus

Chorus
Happy day! Joyous Way!
Walking with my Savior.
In His love, eyes above
Living in His favor.
Sins erased by His grace
Now I seek His face
Thus I live, my heart rejoicing
To His praise.

Once I walked in the path,
Road of sin and sorrow.
But that changed, now I have
Hope for all tomorrows.
He has giv’n, peace and heav’n,
Bought by His own life.
Now I rejoice in His love
Tell others of my Christ.
Chorus

Based on Psalm 68:3-4
Copyright Miriam Rainwater, February 20, 2008
All rights reserved.
Opt. Tune: Wonderful, Wonderful

One Word of Thine

One word of Thine can calm my fearing soul,
Thou whisperest “Peace”; I cannot be dismayed.
For Thine Assurance over me still rolls
And on Thy Rock I am secure and stayed.
One word of Thine can calm each doubt and fear,
Thou whisperest “Peace”; I know that Thou art near.

One word of Thine can bring my wand’ring heart
Back to the fold where Thou in patience waits.
Thou whisperest “Grace”; and sets my soul apart
Thy full forgiveness is the diff’ring trait.
One word of Thine can bring me back to Thee.
Thou whisperest “Grace”; from sin I now am free.

One word of Thine can grasp my shaking hand.
Thou whisperest “Come”; walkest the road with me.
Thy word hath promised perfect is Thy plan
Therefore I follow, holding tight to Thee.
One word of Thine can lead me through the night.
Thou whisperest “Come”; I press toward Heaven’s light.

One word of Thine can lead my unsure feet.
Thou whisperest “Trust”, in faith I step ahead.
Through mountains, valleys, everywhere is sweet
Where Jesus is. By Him my soul is fed.
One word of Thine can guide me all the way
Thou whisperest “Trust”; Thou art my strength and stay.

One word of Thine, nay, six I long to hear:
“Well done, my child!” and these two: “Welcome home!”
So toward the mark I press, I persevere.
That I might bring Thee glory, Thou alone!
One word of Thine I’ll hear with earth behind
When Thou wilt whisper “Joy”; Lord, I am Thine!



Copyright Miriam Rainwater, January 15, 2008
All rights reserved.
Opt. Tune: Be Still My Soul

Rejoice in His Might

Ye children of light, rejoice in His might
He giveth us vict’ry o’er powers of night.
No one can defeat us, with Christ on our side
He giveth us strength as we in Him abide.
Chorus

Chorus:
Children of Light
Joy in His might.
The vict’ry is ours through Calvary won!
Sing and Rejoice
Lift up your voice
Be strong through the power of Jesus the Son.

Ye children of light, the battle is His
The breastplate of righteousness our Jesus is.
Our peace and salvation, our truth and our joy.
With Christ as our Captain, no foe can annoy.
Chorus

Ye children of light, yield not to the wiles
Of Satan, but count all things joy in you trials.
Resist the temptations, give Christ Satan’s lies.
Draw strength from Savior, your God, ever-wise.
Chorus

Based on Eph. 6
Copyright Miriam Rainwater, May 14, 2007
All rights reserved.
Opt. tune: Saved by the Blood of the Crucified One

Lonely No Longer

I once walked alone, down roads of this world
I knew not of Christ and His word.
But praise be to Him
He took all my sin
And He filled my heart with His joy.

Chorus:
Lonely, lonely no longer,
For Jesus walks close to my side.
Faithful to the end
My heavenly friend
And He fills my heart with His joy.


I still sought the praise of those that I knew
But friends that are faithful are few.
Yet Jesus was there
I knew that He cared
And He filled my heart with His joy.

I’ve chosen to joy in all of my life
For I have a friend – Jesus Christ.
Though foes may assail
And though friends may fail
Still He fills my heart with His joy.

Opt. Tune: Calvary Covers it All


Copyright Miriam Rainwater, October 26, 2006
All rights reserved.

Rejoicing in Jesus!

Rejoicing in Jesus!





A close friend moves out of state. You get sick on Christmas. A friend has a miscarriage. You have a bad day where EVERYTHING goes wrong. The kitchen sink is so full of dishes that it is overflowing. And to top it all off, you have three Geometry lessons calling your name.

Although the above scenarios are quite varied in their difficulty, they normally all produce the same response from each one of us. A complaining spirit, a sigh and perhaps even a root of bitterness. If we are wise we turn to the Lord, and he whispers to us a single word: “rejoice.”

Rejoice?! We say. “Lord, I can’t rejoice in…” And yet our loving Father stays firm in His command. “Rejoice.”

How can we rejoice in all, obeying our Lord’s command to “Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice”? Let me exhort you, my friend, it is possible, by God’s grace. The Lord has been teaching me and leading me in this path of rejoicing, and though I am still learning, I feel as if He would have me pass on the wonderful truths and joys I have found in rejoicing in Jesus.

One day right after my two closest friends had moved away, I got into a conversation with my friend, Mrs. Booth, about it at church. I was discouraged and lonely, yet Mrs. Booth encouraged me to JOY in my Savoir, even though I did not know what He was trying to teach me. Little did I know, that one of the main things that God was trying to teach me was … REJOICING!

Through the past few years, one of the main things I have struggled with is how I could rejoice when I was sad. After a while, I decided to study the words: joy, happiness, rejoicing, etc. as they are used in the Psalms. During this word study I discovered that in America and the English language, we use the words joy and happiness interchangeably, but incorrectly. Happiness is a state of the emotions, easily changed by circumstances and surroundings. Joy is knowing (a state of the mind and will) that God is in control and choosing to believe it. When I am not happy about something does not mean that I cannot rejoice in it, rather that is precisely when I must rejoice. Rejoicing is a choice, yet it is a command. (Philippians 4:4, I Thes. 5:16) Rejoicing is an act of the will, emotions can only follow.

How many times do we pour out all our complaints at the throne of our Heavenly Father, not pausing to listen to His reassuring promises to help us perform all that He commands? If we would only listen and rest in our Lord, we could find true joy. It is there, patiently waiting, but how many of us are wiling to make the effort to reach out and take it? An evangelist that once visited our church made a very true statement. He said: “There is always a way of escape and there is always sufficient grace. When we sin, we are not accessing that grace.” Think about that for a moment.

These principals may seem simple and unimportant to some, but if one person and failed to rejoice, Jesus would have come to ransom him. Someone wise once said: “My only contribution to the plan of salvation was the sin that required it.” Even though I may not be happy about all that has happened or all that is happening right now in my life, I choose to believe that his way is perfect (Ps. 18:30) and rest in the knowledge of His love. Even when I get lonely for my friends who moved away, or when everything seems to go wrong all in one day, I must choose to thank the Lord for EVERYTHING, and JOY in Him.

Satan has a very large stronghold in Christians when we have “bad days”. Jesus Christ has died for us, ransomed us, and is now in heaven, waiting for us. This is exciting, friends! Instead of focusing on the negative, on the things that are going wrong, focus on Jesus and all the rich blessings that He has bestowed upon us all as His children. As Mrs. Booth once told me, “When I am rejoicing in Jesus, I can “throw a party” in the trial.” When Satan tries to steal your joy with a “bad” day or you find yourself in the midst of a trial, rejoice in Him, brethren! “Throw a party” for your God is greater than ANY problem!

Even in the little things, such as washing dishes or working a geometry problem, we are given daily opportunities that our heavenly Father lays before us, to see if we will obey His words and commands, to test our love for Him. Even though it is hard to remember to rejoice at times, the peace that goes hand in hand with choosing to rejoice is well worth it. And He is there to give the strength to press on!

Throughout all our lives as Christians, we must remember two precious words: He knows. Sad? He knows. Lonely? He knows. Depressed? He knows. Multiple temptations? He knows. The future? HE KNOWS! Praise our dear Lord! We can rejoice in all our ways!

The next time you are struggling with anything, big or small, talk to the Lord about it, bringing all in your heart before Him, and purposing to rejoice in your situation. He knows! You may not feel any better about it, but you will know in your heart that you are obeying the Lord and rejoicing in His perfect dealings with you. And in this, there is true joy.

That We Might Rejoice

Revive us, O Lord, that we might rejoice,
In Thy salvation given free.
Cause us to hear what Thou wilt speak
Set us in the pathway of Thee!

Revive us, O Lord, that we might rejoice,
Send Thou Thy spirit upon this place.
Keep us from evil, show Thy truth.
Turn back, upon us shine Thy face!

Revive us, O Lord, that we might rejoice,
Humble our hearts, we for mercy cry.
We look to Thee for righteousness
To our plans of self-gain we die.

Revive us, O Lord, that we might rejoice,
Lord, Thy forgiveness, Thy grace, ‘tis sweet.
O Lord, deliver us from sin!
We humbly bow at Thy feet.


Psalm 85
Copyright Miriam Rainwater, August 20, 2006
All rights reserved.

Here I Will Rejoice

Here I will rejoice
The shadow of Thy wings
Is spread abroad my soul to hide;
So I will sing.

Here I will give thanks
Rich blessing doth abound.
I seek Thy face and walk Thy path.
Thy praise I’ve found.

Here I will rejoice
Thy holy will is best.
Within my Jesus I abide
And safely rest.

Copyright Miriam Rainwater, July 31, 2006
All rights reserved.

What Joy is This!

What joy is this
‘Tis happy bliss
To know that God is on my side!
I shall not fail
Though storms assail
For Jesus Christ shall be my guide.
I rest in this assurance sweet
As I the trials of life meet
I commune with Jesus at His feet.
For this is eternal joy!

What joy is this
‘Tis happy bliss
To trust in one who cannot fail.
For Jesus Christ
Hath given life
And maketh all who ask Him well.
He gave His life on Calvary
To save and cleanse and pardon me.
I’ll praise Him for eternity
For this is eternal joy!

What joy is this
‘Tis happy bliss
To know that God will be my stay.
And through His grace
I’ll seek His face
And I will trust Him all the way.
I will rejoice in ev’ry thing
Praise I will shout and sing
For Jesus is my Lord and King!
For this is eternal joy!

What joy is this
‘Tis happy bliss
To know my Father’s ways are best.
He shall guide me
Walk beside me
As in His holy will I rest.
That he would guide me, all I ask
Along the straight and narrow path
To show His love, complete His tasks.
For this is eternal joy!

Copyright Miriam Rainwater, March 17, 2006

All rights reserved.

I Trust the Heart of Jesus

I trust the heart of Jesus
In peace despite the storm
By faith I know He leads me
My Savoir and my Lord.
For though His hand doth slay me
I’m safe within His arms.
His love is everlasting
He shall not do me harm.

I trust the heart of Jesus
When clouds obscure His face.
I trust in Jesus only
For peace and hope and grace.
A hiding place he offers
Against the rising wind.
I shall not fear the battle
For Jesus is my friend!

I trust the heart of Jesus
No terror can I know.
For I shall understand Him
One day before His throne!
I’ll trust Him through the trouble
When rain and clouds annoy.
I’ll trust Him, for in Jesus
I find my sweetest joy!

Copyright Miriam Rainwater, February 28, 2006

All rights reserved.

Joyfully Adore the Savoir

Joyfully adore the Savoir
Evermore His love proclaim!
Show abroad His glorious power
Magnify His holy name.
Kneel before Him, come adore Him,
Who, for all, hath come to earth.
Joyfully adore the Savior
Sing aloud His matchless worth!


Joyfully adore the Savior
All who through Him are redeemed.
Praise Him for the blood that cleanses
All who wash in Calvary’s stream.
Make Him, crown Him, Lord and Savior
Listen for His loving voice.
Joyfully adore the Savior
In His holiness rejoice!

Joyfully adore the Savoir
Praise Him for He gave His life.
So that we might have redemption
By our Savoir: Jesus Christ.
Joyfully this is my witness
“Jesus is my only choice!”
Joyfully adore the Savoir
In His perfect ways rejoice!

Copyright Miriam Rainwater, February 22, 2006

All rights reserved.

Rejoicing in Jesus

Rejoicing in Jesus my Savior and King
No matter what each day and hour may bring
“Hosanna to Jesus! Forever I’ll sing!
Rejoicing in Jesus my Lord.

Chorus: Rejoicing in Jesus
All will be worth while!
To rest in the presence of my Savior’s smile!
To hear Him in glory
Proclaim in accord.
“Well done child, come enter
The joy of thy Lord!”

Rejoicing in Jesus though darkness is near
Giving to Jesus each doubt and each fear
For He, when I call upon Him will hear
Rejoicing in Jesus, my Lord.

Rejoicing in Jesus in Sorrow and pain
Trusting in Him who’s forever the same
And that He will make the confusing way plain
Rejoicing in Jesus, my Lord.

Rejoicing in Jesus all temptations fail,
Though they all around me in terror assail
Through Jesus, my fortress, I shall prevail!
Rejoicing in Jesus, my Lord.

Rejoicing in Jesus through all of life’s path
Bearing His smile and His heart- lifting laugh.
This my desire, yea, all that I hath –
Rejoicing in Jesus, my Lord.

Meter: 11, 11, 11, 8
Copyright Miriam Rainwater, July 26, 2005

All rights reserved.
Based on Philippians 4:4