When I moved to Portland, I greatly disliked coffee. In my stubborn pride, I looked in disdain at every cup all these Portlanders drank. That stuff was bitter and wasn't to my liking. So was tea. And I told people so.
Then one day in October, I was standing in line at a Starbucks waiting to get coffee with a student and I randomly felt like the Holy Spirit told me to get a mocha instead of my typical hot cocoa. I didn't want to, but the next thing I knew, I'd paid the cashier for a mocha with soy and I was sitting at my table with my undesired beverage. My student had heard me order and was on the verge of a heart attack from the excitement of me finally learning to drink coffee. I tried it. It wasn't bitter. It actually....wasn't all that bad.
Weeks turned into months and slowly I began to wean myself off the sweeter coffees until last week when the moment of truth came. Sitting with that same non-believing student, I drank my first whole cup of black coffee. And it was delicious! She asked me what had made me change my mind. The Spirit brought my coffee journey full circle as I had opportunity to speak freely about Jesus through these two things I've learned:
1. Bitter isn't always bad.
Neither is a gray cloudy sky. Or rules. Or even death. Each of these contrasts their opposite: sweetness, sunshine, grace, life. Without them, we wouldn't have a proper knowledge of the world and our blessings. And with them, we get to experience new dimensions of the fullness of joy He has for us here. Bitterness adds new possibilities for our tastebuds. Gray has so many beautiful shades and turns the Willamette river silver. Rules create a framework for organized living. And death can finalize a life well lived and usher a redeemed child into the Presence of God.
2. Love must be relevant.
Until a couple of weeks ago, quite a few precious brothers and sisters in Christ had tried to get this across to me (you know who you are--THANK YOU), but I had such an attitude, I couldn't see the truth the Lord was literally screaming through them, trying to get my attention. Then on March 1st, Ken, Joshua, and I went to Seattle for a conference on how to better reach international students. One of the speakers said, "Don't look at your international students as a group of people who need charity or pity because they didn't grow up in the U.S. Praise God they didn't grow up here! They have a different and unique world view; God has given you an incredible opportunity to learn by bringing the diversity of His heart right to your community. Humble yourself. Learn. And love AFTER you learn about the ways they connect to God. To try to teach them God from your worldview alone is futile; you want them to be able to not only grasp and accept Jesus as their Savior but to be able to carry Him back to their cultural contexts."
The Lord used that comment to shake some sense into me. And it hadn't just been in international ministry that I'd expressed the "they just have to get used to the way I love" mentality. It had manifested itself many places, even with people from my own childhood culture. Sometimes love looks like a cup of coffee, that I've learned to actually enjoy, along with this cultural context I'm learning to call home. Sometimes love looks like eating grape leaves diped in olive oil and vinegar with a smile for the sake of the gospel even if a piece of me is dying with every chew; it looks like trying it again...and again...because I refuse to be hindered in ministry because my tastebuds are trying to run my life. Sometimes love means learning to appreciate video games so I can connect with my students who love them. Sometimes love is staying out of someone's bubble because they are not a hug person, even though I am. It's not about how I feel or what I want. If I want to encourage, sometimes I need to first stop throwing up discouragement on them by my complaining, and then begin to listen to find how to build them up. Love can't be demanded, manipulated, or used. If I'm truly seeking to love them, it's not about me--it's about them and it's about Jesus.
It is my desire that as we walk our separate journeys, the Lord will grow us all in these areas of faith. I pray that I will continue to be open to His changing my heart, as I know I still have a long way to go in learning to love like Jesus.
For love seeks not her own.
Lord, let it be true.
And begin in me.
Maybe I should tackle green tea next...
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